bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize