i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
