you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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