Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's blow job season.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize