hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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