Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
