My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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