I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
