So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
