I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
