I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
