Buhtt sex?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
