I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
