Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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