She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
