I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
