Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wake up i wanna do it froggy style

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  (203): wake up i wanna do it froggy style http://tfl.nu/zmqx
  Replies (18) Good night (3178) Bad night (723)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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  (915): After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't. http://tfl.nu/4b73
  Replies (19) Good night (755) Bad night (2920)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.

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  (435): Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage. http://tfl.nu/k0ri
  Replies (5) Good night (1940) Bad night (790)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

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  (864): just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside http://tfl.nu/pna6
  Replies (82) Good night (8323) Bad night (812)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament

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  (603): I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament http://tfl.nu/4ewl
  Replies (5) Good night (4217) Bad night (1360)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

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  (402): In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck. http://tfl.nu/gl2y
  Replies (7) Good night (3423) Bad night (1395)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal

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  (410): So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal http://tfl.nu/8nnp
  Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (2018)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.

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  (630): I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts. http://tfl.nu/1rjt
  Replies (2) Good night (1968) Bad night (654)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.

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  (724): Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies. http://tfl.nu/sr2h
  Replies (17) Good night (2899) Bad night (717)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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  (303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e
  Replies (4) Good night (2556) Bad night (636)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (1670)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.

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  (970): bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog. http://tfl.nu/rc38
  Replies (5) Good night (1775) Bad night (529)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.

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  (412): Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy. http://tfl.nu/6smo
  Replies (2) Good night (1134) Bad night (512)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.

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  (306): my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets. http://tfl.nu/lsez
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (343)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

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  (512): you are like the bill nye of illicit activities http://tfl.nu/fr89
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (354)

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