We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They took my balls.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.