i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.