So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My penis needs a shock collar
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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