Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?