Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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