were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
