I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
