While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
