i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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