Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
