I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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