not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
please don't ironically join a cult
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