I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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