The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
