i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We have started to decorate penises.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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