at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
