I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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