They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
