We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
