the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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