im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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