just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
