just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
