Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
