I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.