I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Everclear isn't food dammit
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