the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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