Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
