this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
