Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
