goodnight i made you a song goodbye
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I fill condoms, not promises.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
