i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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