You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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