I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
