never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
