so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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