I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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