the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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