i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
