He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize