Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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