Define "chronic" masturbator.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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