just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
