just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
