Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
