You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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