dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
