Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
