So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
