just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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