yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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