i think my tv is drunk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drake has all the answers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
