As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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