Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
