Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He passed out mid-signature
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
