Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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